Firstly I apologise for my lack of recent blog posts. I started a new job this month and am in the process of relocating and as you can imagine, everything has been a bit hectic. That said, Hannah Buchan messaged me asking if I had written about the VMAs yet and it seemed the perfect opportunity to kick myself back into writing-gear and to wrongfully judge others outfits at the same time. So thanks Hannah. (Read her blog here, it's hilarious.)
The Kardashian Sisters.
Let's go from left to right here. Kendall. Usually the most beautiful (imo) of all the Kardashians, but here she looks a bit like a man in drag. Her hair is too slick, the top is unflattering, the trousers swamp her Kardashian curves. And standing next to her way shorter sisters doesn't help.
Kylie looks beautiful. I think we all need to take a deep breath and remember that she is only 17 years old. Definition jailbait.
Kim is usually absolutely striking but today she looks like Kuzko. If you don't know who Kuzko is (and you all should), click here. Kylie, you win.
Miley Cyrus covered up for once, which is great! Not a massive fan of the shape of the trousers, but the shoes are spot on. You can't see nipple, bum cheek, camel toe or her pubic hair follicles, so all-in-all, a vast improvement from her usual attire. Well done, Miley. You stay classy now.
Wiz Khalifa & Amber Rose
I'm not even sure how to approach Amber Rose's outfit. Maybe it's a political statement, maybe she just forgot to put the underdress on. Either way, I'm mildly horrified. Not one part of this outfit - from the brassier to the diamante's - can pass for even remotely classy.Wiz on the other hand looks dope as hell. Can't get enough of the graphic tee/shirt hybrid and the shoes pull the casual-vibe up a notch. Big fan.
Katy Perry & Riff Raff
I'm sure everyone has seen the Britney Spears & Justin Timberlake comparison of Katy Perry and Riff Raffs outfits by now. If you haven't, click here. I don't know if this was a purpose impersonation or a horrific error of judgement, but regardless of the Versace label, this wholes scenario is an absolute catastrophe for my eyes. It literally looks like a bucket of denim factory rejects spat them out and then they got washed through a vajazzle machine. No words.
Solange looks fierce. She is giving her sister a run for her money here for sure. The box cut of the suit is fabulous, paired with the skinnies stops her being drowned out. The heels feminize it, the hair makes it catwalk-worthy, and the natural makeup stops it all being a bit too much. Winner.
Adrianna is absolutely stunning. But she looks like a Khaleesi about to ride her dragons into warfare in Game Of Thrones. Except a Khaleesi would never wear a Moschino logo belt.
Rita Ora is absolutely breathtaking. A modern-day-Marilyn. The super-high slit is enough to make me a little bit hot under the collar but the dress itself as a whole is classy enough to not come across as trashy. The necklace pulls it all together. A+, Rita.
Chris Brown. The bomber looks cheap, the necklace looks tacky. Is that a shirt around his waist? Or a tea towel for wiping up the blood of his enemies after he beats them up outside the afterparty? I'm not sure. Either way I don't like it.
I so, so, SO almost love this outfit to pieces. The let down factor? The way the leotard sits makes it look like she has a saggy fanny. Pardon the french.
Full-time writer and blogger. I write about fashion and occasionally scathing accounts retelling instances where people have wronged me. I am a strong believer, proud advocator and solemn enforcer of the Wine Wednesday movement.