I dabbled in and out on getting the Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Guide for a long time. After realising I had put on over a stone which has all gone to my stomach and boobs unfortunately, I was finally repulsed enough by the sight of myself to get off my ass, stop eating badly and get into a routine.
I have always found making close friends a very slow process, and never thought much of it. I just put it down to my short attention span for people who cancel plans a lot. (AKA: 90% of the population.) It wasn't until I met my boyfriends family this weekend that I realised the problem goes much deeper than that. Some may call it being socially awkward, I am calling it 'Seeming Like a Bitch Syndrome.' (SLAB). A close relative to 'Chronic Bitch Face Syndrome.' (See here for more details.) The combination of these two syndrome is fatal for ones social life.
SYMPTOMS OF 'SEEMING LIKE A BITCH SYNDROME':
Extreme difficulty in feigning laughter when you don't genuinely find something funny.
Moderate difficulty in finding something funny if you don't know the person very well.
Not being a 'touchy feely kinda gal.' AKA: Opting (every time) for a curt and polite nod rather than a hug and the (God-forbid) dreaded double cheek kiss.
Experiencing long periods of extended silence in which you genuinely can't think of what to talk to a person about because you aren't sure what is appropriate.
Severe difficulty feigning an interest in anything that really doesn't interest you. (AKA. babies.)
Extreme difficult carrying out 'small talk', probably due to the above point.
Showing more interest and enthusiasm for things such as dogs and food over other people.
Enjoying your own company and a night in with pizza and Netflix over going out clubbing and drinking every weekend.
CAUSES OF 'SEEMING LIKE A BITCH SYNDROME':
The primary factor which causes SLAB Syndrome (in my personal experience) is as follows:
My sense of humour is
a) Extremely dry and sarcastic and
b) usually involves things that are highly inappropriate or too politically incorrect to say in front of people I do not know very well, for fear of leaving a lasting bad impression.
These two factors of my personality means that I end up trying to put on another persona (a polite and politically correct one) around people I do not know very well. This in turn leaves me with the symptom:
Experiencing long periods of extended silence in which you genuinely can't think of what to talk to a person about because you aren't sure what is appropriate.
Once I have become aware that I am showing signs of the above symptom, it all goes downhill from there. I close up even more and become extremely conscious of what everyone else is probably thinking of me. (me again)
OUTCOME OF 'SEEMING LIKE A BITCH SYNDROME':
Combine the above scenario with an unfortunate case of Chronic Bitch Face Syndrome and you have yourself the very real embodiment of someone who seems like a complete and total bitch. "Who was that moody girl with a face like a slapped arse standing in the corner not speaking or joining in the convo?" Yep, that would be me, thanks.
TREATMENT OF 'SEEMING LIKE A BITCH SYNDROME':
I wish I was bubbly, I wish I could meet people and hug and laugh like old friends after 5 minutes with them. But the thing is, I can't. I'm dry and cynical and honestly probably won't find you funny unless you're making a joke about something completely politically incorrect, or are fantastically witty with excellent and extravagant vocabulary use.
I may be monotonous and come across like I don't care, but I assure you I do.
I am a nice person. Really, I am. I may not be warm and welcoming, bubbly or invitingly friendly. But I always mean well. It just takes about 6 months for me to open up enough for you to see that. By which time you've probably decided I'm a huge boring frigid wench who you don't want to speak to. Sorry about that.
Bottom line is: It's okay to be slightly emotionally detached - we are the Kourtney Kardashians of the world and that's okay. We can't all be Kim or Khloes. (Thanks Sarah for helping me realise this.)
I grew up as a teenager with Becky Bloomwood. I laughed, I cried, it was all an emotional roller coaster. She is warm and funny and relatable, and the series (although it all got a bit unrealistic at times), was well loved and re-read countless times. (The film, however, was terrible.) I must admit once she had her baby I stopped reading the series with such avid interest, and moved onto the Harper Lee Collins and Joe Dunthornes and (of course) John Greens of our time.
Unfortunately this won't be a good book review. When I saw this book in Sainsburys for half price I picked it up to make my morning commute go quicker. And despite missing a few of the last books in the series, it was all very easy to pick up and I don't feel like I needed to have ready any of the series before picking up this one. But the story lacked twists and depth, Becky's character became unfamiliarly unlikeable with very minimal character development and the end… well. Where to start with the ending? It felt like Kinsella had sat down and written out the ending in five minutes because she wanted to finish the book and hadn't even pre-planned what would happen. Nearly all of the challenges Becky was going through suddenly became irrelevant and fixed themselves magically, which ties in with her lack of character development.
And it ended on an abrupt cliffhanger which in my opinion was completely unnecessary. I hate to say it, but it almost felt as though it was merely done so that people fork out the pennies to pick up the next book - which I won't be doing.
I think my time with Becky and Kinsella has come to an amicable ending after reading this book, and having looked online at book reviews for this piece of the series it seems I'm not the only one who felt this way.
Have any of you read this and felt equally disappointed in comparison to the rest of the series?
Summer is arriving, it's official. I had a bit of a retail nightmare the other day. I ordered a gorgeous pair of Ellerman sandals from ASOS for £45. I then didn't double check my saved address and got it posted a million miles away to my old Scotland address. Disaster. Luckily their Twitter Help team sorted it all out for me and got the order sent back to them so I could get a refund (they couldn't change the address at that late stage in the game... it was already in the van in Scotland!)
I'm away on holiday next week and decided to panic-shop in Primark for an alternative pair of sandals. (My beloved Ellerman's are now out of stock in all sizes. Typical.) Primarni in London ishell on this God-given earth, a free-for-all, a Stab 'n' Grab type of place. I took a deep breath, kept my head down and my headphones in, and headed up to shoes. All worth it - I found 3 pairs of shoes for STILL cheaper than the £45 I was going to spend on the one pair at ASOS. All of them are different and suitable for different summer events, making them my favourite 3 picks from Primark. Their shoe game is strong this season, I urge you all to face the Primark fear and head in to take a look.
THE POOL SLIDER
This pair was painfully cheap. As in less than a McDonalds Happy Meal cheap. I ummed and ahhed a while over this colour, the white variation or the black. My reasoning was not to go for black because of my other two choices, and not to go with white because it would get grimy quickly what with the London air. They definitely don't look cheap and just follow the standard slider shape with a nice snakeskin print. Perfect for the beach or for throwing on quickly with a sundress.
THE DAY SANDAL
I am wearing these today and they are glorious. They look like real leather, they have a small heel which make them look more expensive (not typical Primark shoes where they feel cardboard-y), and they are comfortable. No cutting in at the sides! These are perfect for teaming with jeans and an oversized shirt for a warmer British day. And they were only about £12.
THE EVENING SANDAL
A glorious sandal-mule hybrid, again these look like real leather. The thick heel make them easy to walk in and they are incredibly on-trend this season. You can literally wear these with any outfit to smarten it up. Jeans or a pencil skirt and you're good to go. I would also consider them to be transeasonal, making them a bloody bargain at around the £15 mark.
What are your staple sandals for this summer and where have you been getting yours from?
So Kylie Jenner has had lip injections. In other groundbreaking news – the world is round, Topshop jeans are a tiny fit and water is wet.
We all have been waiting for her to stand up and admit that she gets fillers, and the day finally came. (More info here.)
I want to talk about my opinion about this. (Because it's my blog and I can. Luxuries.) So, Kylie would have been 16 when she started getting fillers in, as that’s when all the rumours started circulating following her lips doubling in size overnight. And I understand that she’s self conscious (who wouldn’t be when you have Kim K as your stepsister and supermodel Kendall as your fullblood sister!?), but I can’t help but think back to all the things I have been self conscious about over the years and where I would be today if I had been given the opportunity to change them.
I regret dying my hair when I was 15 enough, (a terrible orange shade), let alone putting something into my body that could end up leaving me looking like waxwork by the time I’m 30. Now she’s started, stopping will be incredibly difficult (these fillers need to be topped up every 12 months, rumours circulating she does it every 3 months); a bit like when you dye your hair black and get blonde roots. You can’t stop dying it because the roots look horrific, so you just keep touching up your roots every few months. In the end your hair is frazzled.
When I was 18 I got at tattoo. I thought it was great. It’s not. It’s terrible. It was poorly done and the needle they used was too thick for the design and I’m already planning a cover-up, 5 years later. At least it’s on my hip bone and nobody ever sees it, what if it was in the middle of my face?!
When I was 16, it was considered beautiful to be pale, with extremely thin eyebrows. All the girls at school would pluck the nights away until they had that high arched, pencil-thin eyebrow. Now it’s all about a healthy glowing tan and thick, bushy Delevingne brows. Pretty contrasting looks. The fashion industry dictates what is beautiful, and right now it may be considered sexy to have full, plump, pouty lips. But what happens when in 15 years time it’s fashionable to have thin, elfin features and striking eye makeup? Will Kylie feel self-conscious again and get a lip reduction?! Is a lip reduction even a thing??!
Kylie is (IMO) too young to be making a decisions which could permanently damage her face in the future, and to be honest no matter how insecure she is about them it’s just a part of growing up to battle your insecurities. Every normal teenage girl grows up detesting something about themselves (for me it was my flat chest), and then they grow up (my boobs grew too, thankfully), and their insecurities change as their values do.
Kris Jenner should be teaching her daughter to accept herself and how naturally beautiful she is and let her live a normal teenagers life filled with getting over her insecurities instead of allowing her to play with her face. Whereas most of us live not liking something about ourselves (for me it's now my nose) and accepting it is what it is, (and actually it's not so bad in certain lights with good contouring), Kylie is going to grow up thinking she doesn't like certain things about herself but it's okay because she can fork out money to 'improve' her image by cosmetically enhancing. And I just don't think in the long run that's going to be the solution to any of her insecurity issues - in fact, I imagine if anything it will make them much worse as she won't ever learn to accept herself for who she is naturally.
Maybe I'm looking into this too deeply - thoughts?
(And for the record, I liked her thinner lips. It was what made her different from the rest of the Kardashian Klan.)
I've really been enjoying a more natural look for Spring / Summer, my Tumblr has been a massive makeup inspo as of late. This look is one I've been opting for a lot, so I thought I would quickly jot down what I use. (It takes a lot of makeup to look like you're wearing not-very-much makeup…)
Below is what I use, in the order I do my face, in the order I apply the products. So basally just follow the list down to see exactly what I do and when. Skin: 1. NARS Sheerglow Foundation in the shade light5 Fiji. This forms my base and is applied with a Real Techniques buffer foundation brush.
2. (Optional) Benefit Porefessional Pro Balm to limit appearance of pores. Blended with my finger just on my cheeks where I get more visible pores. (I don't wear this daily, just if I'm going out somewhere nice.)
3. MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Natural in Medium Dark. This is used as my contour and bronzer. I apply it down my cheekbones and around my temples with a Real Techniques contour brush and down the sides of my nose to slim it with an eyeshadow brush.
4. MAC Satin Powder Blush in Modern Mandarin is my blush and I apply it to the apples of my cheeks with a Real Techniques blusher brush. I did a review on this blush here.
5. (Optional) Rimmel Wake Me Up Concealer in the lightest shade I can, I dab this in dots under my eyes and blend in with my ring finger on days where I have really bad bags under my eyes. Eyebrows:
1. I draw a line along the bottom and end of my eyebrows using a Rimmel Eyebrow Pencilin black/brown to define the edges.
2. I use the Makeup Store Microshadow in the shade Deadly over my entire brow with a Nars angled eyebrow brush. I dip the brush into the shadow once for each eyebrow, I start colouring in at the ends where they need to be darker and then from the centre of the eyebrow to the start I just use the leftover product flicking my brush from the bottom of the brow upwards so the front is lighter.
3. Set the entire brow with Maybelline's Brow Drama in dark brown, flicking upwards to give them more volume.
4. (Optional) I occasionally draw a line underneath the brow to tidy everything up with my Sheer Cover Conceal & Brighten Trio palette in shade light/medium. I use the lighter concealer and a really tiny nib brush to just draw a really straight line to tidy up any wonky powdered edges and give the brow bone a highlight. I only do this if I'm going out somewhere nice again. Eyes:
1. I like to keep my eyes pretty clean. I use the Urban Decay Naked Basics palette every day for a very simple eye look. I use the shade Foxy over my entire lid as a base, go into my crease with Naked 2 and do the under eye and the outer crease with Faint. I find these colours work best because they are all very matte with no shimmer and the browns suit my skin tone and hazel eye colouring. If my eyes are very dull I'll use Venus in the inner corners to brighten them up. I rarely do this but did it for the sake of these pictures and this tutorial.
2. I use the Benefit They're Real mascara as my base, applying the mascara on both top and bottom lashes and wiggling it so the lashes fan out. For the second layer I used Maybelline Colossal Go Extreme Leather Black mascara. Lips:
This lip look was used using the Max Factor Lipliner in the shade 10 Ruby, and then I went over that and filled them in with MAC Mocha. Another favourite lip colour of mine for a natural look which I used for my Kylie Jenner tutorial is Mehr.
So there you have it. A lot of makeup, but if you apple it properly it can look effortless and quite natural. What are your thoughts and favourite day-to-day makeup looks?
(Sorry if this is difficult to follow! I'm reluctant to do Youtube tutorials, I don't think video agrees with me..!)
I love mixing textures like a thick wool knit and delicate lace. I wanted a casual outfit and teamed my Topshop polo neck knit with some black loose lace-trimmed shorts from Urban Outfitters.
My watch is Olivia Burton, my lips are MAC Mocha and I gave the outfit a pop of colour and bit more of an edge with some Park Lane leopard boots from ASOS.
Excuse my pasty legs, tan has been bottom of my priority list as of late. (Unlike me, I know.) A loose low ponytail finished the look. I can only have low ponies since having my hair cut into a long bob with a shorter back, but I think it works with this look and looks quite clean alongside the high-neck top.
Full-time writer and blogger. I write about fashion and occasionally scathing accounts retelling instances where people have wronged me. I am a strong believer, proud advocator and solemn enforcer of the Wine Wednesday movement.