Wednesday, 28 December 2016

My Not-So-Chic 2016

In my office it seems that looking chic is second nature. My manager struts  in every morning with her go-to lazy-girl outfit of leather ankle boots, straight leg jeans, some sort of amazing vintage blouse and a long tailored coat. (A look that would take me months to come up with.)

Similarly, one of the Merch girls comes in with her legs out every single day, whether it's pouring with rain or sub zero temperatures. On anyone else it would be labelled potentially tacky, but in her beautiful bohemian dresses, leather pumps and her thin, toned and eternally-tanned legs that the St Tropez advert models would envy... it works. Then there's me. I would love to be effortlessly chic, and spent my commute in this morning wondering what it is about me, my outfits and the way I carry myself which leaves me always feeling inferior during tea-runs at work.

I have some ideas...

1. I wear leggings. Not just to the gym, or when I'm hungover, but when I wake up late. Which, to be honest, is most days. Leggings are never chic.

2. Most of my tights are bobbly. I could do something about this, but I don't.

3. I wear boy-pants from Topshop more than is acceptable. It's probably only okay to wear girl-boxers at one particular time of the month, but all others times it is painfully unglamorous.

4. My bras are bobbling too, now I come to think about it.

5. I keep wearing grubby Vans and Fred Perry trainers because my feet are always sore from days spent in boots trying to copy my managers effortless fashionable style. 1 day boots = 5 days Vans.

Psst... this coat is Armani. (From a 2nd hand shop. Chic yet?)

6. My handbag is always gaping wide open so everybody knows what brand of sanitary towel I use because I'm too lazy to keep opening and closing it for my Oyster and phone.

7. I wear a tatty old parka from the teenage section of H&M which makes me look slightly homeless because it's super warm and my only hooded coat. Practical dressing is not chic.

8. My nails are usually bitten. Okay, okay, always bitten.

9. My legs are hairy 80% of the year, and I tell myself that because the hairs are super thin and fair that it's acceptable. It isn't.

10. I can't remember the last time I ironed a piece of clothing before putting it on.

Perhaps these should be my New Years Resolutions for a chicer and more glamorous 2017. But realistically I will continue being the lazy slob that I am, spending my time trying to Instagram myself a slightly more glamorous life.

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