Monday, 18 September 2017

A definitive ranking of my Game of Thrones crushes.

A hot-topic and trigger for many an office debate, I know a lot of you have probably had many sleepless nights wondering who exactly I fancy the most from Game of Thrones. I admit, I've had sleepless nights myself trying to work it out as it seems to change episode-to-episode. But I forced myself to consider all points and form a definitive list.

In order, and without any hesitation:

1. Daenerys Targaryen
Nobody can argue, she is an absolute dreamboat and she has blooming dragons. The exact opposite of a crush with baggage. She is clearly the ultimate #GirlBoss and thus honoured with number 1 place in my heart and my list of crushes.

2. Khal Drogo
LOOK. AT. HIM. And when all the Dothraki are riding around standing on their stallions waving their spears around... let's just keep it PC and say they need more airtime.

3. Jorah Mormont
I'm just obsessed with this guy. I would honestly get greyscale just to spend some alone time with him in his cell. Pushed down from first place to third because of how obsessed he is with Daenerys - I can't really compete with that. 

4. Missandei
Probably the most beautiful person on the show, but minus points for being kind of boring. Sorry hun. 

5. Greyworm
He always looks slightly concerned but if he didn't he'd be super hot. Loses some points for not having genitals. (Probs why he always looks concerned tbf.)

6. Littlefinger 
What can I say? I'm a sucker for a sexy accent.

7. Margaery Tyrell
What a go-get-em kinda gal. Big fan, and she had incredible hair and bedroom eyes. Plus her grandma would be the coolest ever grandma-in-law. (Unless you're Joffrey, in which case she was kind of the worst.)

8. Jaimie Lannister
Hottest guy but lost a ton of points for the whole incest thing. Can't really see past that.

9. Daario Naharis
Yeah I mean he's cute but what even happened to him?

10. Podrick Payne
I've heard big things about Pod. ;) Also just look at him. He is so pure and innocent and protective and I just love him. Lost some points for looking like a little brother, although he's aging nicely as the series progress. 

11. Rob Starke
Undeniably pleasant to the eye but doesn't listen to anybody else and a little too arrogant to make it any higher than 11th place.

12. Jon Snow
Likewise, Jon is aesthetically pleasing there is no denying it, but he has absolutely no banter.
We are 6 seasons in and he has never laughed or made a joke. I need a little more bantz from my bbz.

13. Tormund 
Oh, I do love a **(Edit: NORWEGIAN?!)  man. Plus he's super badass. Loses points because I want to see him kiss Brienne more than I want to kiss him myself, but the attraction's there for sure.

14. Bronn
 I mean, who doesn't love a badboy?

15. Gendry
 I like how he wields a hammer instead of a sword. Absolutely no fucks given and that's the kind of guy I'm a fan of.

16.  Renly Baratheon
Plus points: Handsome face and great hair. Negative points: Gay

17. Talisa Stark 
Absolute mega babe, but didn't get enough air time for me to fall in love with her properly. Also she had the opposite of a sexy accent. Lastly, she came across a little too 'mumsy' for me to even really want to take her on a night out. 

18. Tommen Baratheon
Ok, I know he's like 12, but what a beautiful little face he has. He's on here as a premeditated guess that he's going to be even more handsome than Jaimie when he's older. I could be wrong - I thought Bran would grow up to be handsome. But for now, I have high hopes for little Tommen. 

19. Tyrion Lannister
We could drink wine together, pee our pants laughing together, plot the demise of our siblings together, and also he's super intelligent, which is always a turn-on. Only this far down because he only fancies  prostitutes. 

20. Sansa Starke
Number 20 because she is beautiful, but also miserable as sin.


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