Monday, 13 November 2017

In Constant Pursuit of Happiness


This is not going to be a funny blog post. I had a great one lined up, don't get me wrong. It was the first of a fresh start for this blog, so it involved some banter and all those good things, but as it happens *someone* wouldn't let me publish it. (He's pissed off I said I'd put a dog before him but I really love dogs so IDGAF.) So it's 10pm and I'm back to square one, trying to think of something funny that happened today to share with you all.

Thing is, it's kind of difficult because today wasn't all that funny. Today I woke up feeling pretty shit actually. And then I spent an hour stood outside because all my trains were cancelled and then the Lord of Injustice teased me my bringing a train into my station (finally) and when we all got sat down and started to warm up they told us to get the fuck off it again because it was 'out of service'. Long story short, I was pretty late for work and my face was numb from the cold. *tiny violins play*

I was in a bad mood before all this though. Sometimes I wake up and just feel super empty and unfulfilled. I feel like I'm constantly chasing something more, but I don't know what it is. It makes me feel like sometimes people spend their lives chasing happiness but can't find it because they don't know what they're looking for.  And sometimes I think that whatever I do and wherever I go, I might feel just as empty, so  it's worth not gambling that there's better out there when everything is pretty fine as it is  if we're being honest. (Does this make sense? Am I rambling?)

(Great film.)

Someone the other day told me he was afraid of dying, and it confused me because it was such an unrelatable fear. For me, living is the most terrifying thing. Especially when you’re waking up every morning wondering, 'is this is all there is?'

Does anyone else ever feel like this or know where I’m coming from? Let me know. 

(Also sorry for lack of humour and being a miserable bitch but I'm a real person and sometimes I feel a lil crappy. If you want something funny you can look at this. Also this is my blog so I can do what I want I am queen here.)

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