Thursday, 12 July 2018

26 Reasons I'm Old

I'm old. Today is my 26th birthday and although I always joke I am like a grandma I realised today just how true it was.
 When did we become grown ups?   I realise with horror it's  snuck up on me over time and I have the proof.

1. I don't make fun of Bridget Jones style pants any more. In fact, I welcome them with open arms.
2. My ideal night out no longer starts at 11pm, it ends at 11pm. 
3. On payday the first thing I looked up was 'carpet cleaners near me'.
4. The only reason I still have Facebook is for when I'm drunk and want to look people up from school to see what they're doing now and compare success rates.
5. My entire feed is people getting pregnant, engaged, or refusing to adult and living abroad.
6. Everyone's profile pictures are now couple photos and not selfies with cute filters.
7. I check the egg box before I pay for them.
8. People ask me stuff at work and I realize it's because I'm an adult with years of experience and am actually qualified to answer the question. Which still seems weird to me.
9. All my bras are now those soft triangle ones from Urban Outfitters with no wire rather than sexy lace push-up ones.
10. I don't get ID'd in Sainsburys anymore, even when I don't have any makeup on.
11. I go to Sainsbury's without wearing makeup, because I've realised nobody cares, especially not me.
12. I use Pinterest to look at home interior posts and furniture DIY.
13. I consider buying Elle Home every time I go to a newsagents, rather than my usual Cosmo.
14. I say things like 'make sure you eat before you go drinking'.
15. I drink a bottle of wine when I go out, instead of a bottle of vodka.
16. My hangovers last about a week.
17. I go to therapy and nobody's making me.
18. I plan dates with my friends up to 3 weeks in advance because otherwise we just won't see each other.
19. I have to drink coffee every morning otherwise it's a horrible day for everyone.
20. I am excited when I get to go to bed at 9pm.
21. I save my receipts.
22. I check my bank balance and juggle money from accounts to improve my credit rating.
23. I get Christmas cards for my pet-sitter. 
24. I look up the prices of houses on our street because mundane and nosy things like that became interesting to me at some stage in my pathetic existence. 
25. I read the newspaper on the way into work every morning. And enjoy it.
26. When I'm on holiday I find myself interested in the architecture and supermarket offerings

So there you have it. 
I am officially old and boring.

Don't get me wrong, I still spend most of my time wearing animal-themed onesies and ponchos in the house listening to McFly and vomitting my brains out from a hangover on Saturday mornings, but in general, at some stage, it looks like I grew up. And tbh, I'm not all that happy about it. 


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